Posted By admin on April 21, 2004

I feel as though I will never truly know you.

The secrets of your heart are too deep.  Too far.  Too out of reach.

I cannot know whatever it is that you do not share.

I cannot accept things about you that you do not accept about yourself.

I cannot love your flaws?if you do not admit they exist.

Nothing in your words could do more damage than my imagination could conjure up.

My love can only be wide and accepting if it only is asked to be.  Otherwise, it becomes unexercised and therefore atrophic.

How can I be your great love and give you my acceptance if you never require it of me?

Abiding love?  Why bother?  You do not need it, do you?  You need only the most basic of love.  In fact I?d swear you could do better in many ways that are more suited to you.

If you can not look at me and tell me your soul?and I do not get to be burdened with your secrets?then we have not been bound to one another at all, but merely existing parallel lives.

?Hello.?

?Hello.?

?Good morning.?

?I love you.?

?I love you, too.?

Hug. Hug.  Kiss.  Kiss.  Love.  Love.

Is that all?  Is there any challenge to understand? 

You have been challenged by me many times.  Your love has had the opportunity to prove it is boundless.  I, however, only get the varnished untruth.  The omission.  The lie to yourself, whatever it is you cannot say.  In me though, I feel it.  I know it is there and you can say I am crazy.  You can say I am paranoid.  You can say it?s my ultra-vivid imagination?but I know something is off.  Something is off.  Something is off and you will rather let me think that I am crazy than share a piece of you that might be something less?or more?or less?than I can handle.  I guess I will never know.  I have never known, even when I have known.  You do not allow it.  You do not permit.

Again?I say it?as I have before.  As I try to swim in the deep and dark abyss and figure out what monsters you think live there ? when really they are much smaller than I guessed?and I am no longer afraid of them and trust reigns above all, because you have shared those parts ? you have shared not only what you know and what you are willing to admit, but also WHO you are and what you are feeling sensitive about.

I suppose it is somehow my fault.

As I suspected all along.

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